Goodbyes are not forever

First impressions are important. Often, people decide in the first few seconds of interactions whether they want to work with you or not. But you still have the opportunity to claw your way out of average 1st impressions!

But over time, it seems that last impressions may matter equally, if not more.

We interact with more people today than we did before- emails, calls, video, chat, etc. 

As a result, we say ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’ to more people than ever before. More people meet us and more people remember us. 

We’re leaving little impressions with people all over the world, and these people are more connected than ever before to the world that we want to create. 

Post these interactions- people document you in their network & memory by connecting with you on Linkedin, Facebook, and other networks.

A couple of years ago, I had an experience that got me thinking about it- I had hired a key team member who we took a leap of faith and brought in to lead an important initiative. When this team member decided to leave a few months later, they mentally checked out during their 1 month notice period, was absent most of the time, and did not care to maintain their work, or transfer it over.

Even though this team member probably did some good work in their short duration, the way they left, burnt such a poor impression of this individual, that I can’t seem to recall a good experience with this team member.

And it got me thinking of the concept I came across, Availability Bias (in the book, Thinking Fast and Slow), that as logical as we humans believe we are, the recency effect matters significantly.

We often misjudge the frequency and magnitude of events that have happened recently. This happens in part because of the limitations of our memory. And we remember the most vivid parts of the narrative, which often are either the best or the worst!

Given that we humans are emotional beings, this Availability Bias or Recency Effect is not going away anytime soon.

Every so often we see our colleagues leave to move on to newer challenges- the duration of their work aside, the quality of their work aside, I find that their ‘last phases’ left with the most lasting impressions.

The worst ones mentally check out: Don’t care about the outcomes of their work- become more callous towards the details

And in extreme cases, don’t even say goodbye to their team-mates.

It’s like this switch was flipped, where they think that their hard work will not lead to a promotion or increment or recognition, so why continue to care?

What they need to do, and I’ve seen some the best ones do this:

• Close all loose ends

• Continue the same level of commitment to your work and the vision that drives you till the end

• Maintain your relationships like you did- this doesn’t matter for those who are naturally honest. In fact, the best of them continue to care beyond the length of their tenure.

It doesn’t take much more effort to do this, but it takes continuing to maintain responsibility. 

Technically, you are employed until the last hour of your last day, so you might as well continue to maintain your commitment.

Specifically, among younger and thus more wildly ambitious folks, I see this a lot more- where they tend to leave not caring about the future of their relationships.

I’ve been there, made some of those mistakes, and have learned the hard way.

The world is connected today in more ways than before, and more so each day. 

Thus, the likelihood of you bumping into each other is much more likely than before.

And it's your last impressions that drive future relationships, references, and much more.

Job references, business references, investor references, introductions - all these benefit from the goodwill you build and maintain in your network.

And the people you’ve worked with, the people you’ve spent hundreds of hours in the trenches with, those are your strongest relationships. They are the ones who are likely to think of you, to back you, and to help you move forward.

With the world getting more connected, maybe there aren’t many goodbyes in this world anymore. So, it’s more like a ‘bye for now’.